Friday, June 10, 2016

Getting Married at 21


I've often heard this phrase countless numbers of times, "Why are you getting married? You're still so young." Sometimes I wonder if this question is a way to make me doubt/feel bad for the decision I'm making. 

Regardless, what's my reply to that? Usually it's a shrug and a small smile or other times I say, "It's part of life!" But most times, it's a shrug. Why? Well let me explain to you what I can't in a 30 second conversation. 

Getting married is very much a big, important and life long commitment, isn't it? Of course! You're making a promise to be with someone for the rest of your life, or in my case, for all of time and eternity. Being married is more than just dating someone, being in a relationship with someone, or being someone's girlfriend/boyfriend. Being married requires you to give all of yourself to the other person. Not saying that you don't do that when you're only girlfriend and boyfriend but being married brings that commitment to a different level.

I've had individuals try to reason with me and express the following concerns about a young marriage:
1. you haven't finished school
2. you haven't experienced enough life
3. you haven't traveled enough
4. you haven't dated enough people
5. you're too young
6. you're still not mature enough
7. you don't make enough money
8. you don't have a career yet
9. you need to just be young
10. you need to learn more about yourself


Although the above statements may be valid to a degree, there are also plentiful reasons why they aren't. When you love someone, and you know you love someone, why would you not take the next step in full heartedly committing yourself to them? I mean, I know you don't need to get married to show you are committed to someone but why wouldn't you, if you could?

Now here are my replies to the above statements:
1. You haven't finished school. Why do I need to be finished school to get married? What difference does it make? Your marital status shouldn't change that. If anything, instead of setting apart time from your studies to go spend time with someone that you care about, that person will always be there. That person can be your constant companion that can help you through the rough, stressful and busy times that you have while in school! ie. I talked to a friend and they said getting married young was one of the best decision they made. Especially when they were studying to be admitted into dental school, the stress that came along with it was more than the average stress-level of the usual post-secondary student, and once they had been accepted, that level raised even more! Without their wife by their side, they expressed their uncertainty as to whether or not they would've even made it to this professional program or would've even completed it. The never ending support that he always got, allowed for him to succeed as well as he did!

2. You haven't experienced enough life yet. Why do I need to experience all of life alone? Everyones perception to how much life they need to experience individually is to the individual. For me, I feel that I've experienced what I've wanted to. And the rest? I can't wait to experience the rest of life and all that it has to offer with my forever companion!

3. You haven't traveled enough. Just because you get married doesn't mean you can't travel. I've known many people who take fun girl trips with their girlfriends or sometimes even go and do exchange/service trips alone or together! Being married doesn't limit you to exploring the world! Even if you haven't traveled to all the places you have on your bucket list, you can always explore once you get married!

4. You haven't dated enough people. Why does it matter how many people I have or haven't dated? Do I need to make my rounds to know exactly what I do or don't like about someone? Do I need to make a checklist of all the things that I need in my perfect and idealic Prince Charming? On that note, no one is perfect. When you go to the store looking for an item and find exactly what you're looking for, do you continue to search for something better? No. The same applies here. I've found someone who is exactly what I'm looking for. Why would I need to test someone else out?

5. You're too young. Since when does age constitute a good time to get married? I understand that the average age that people get married at is between 25-30 years old, in today's society, but why? Is it because most individuals have finished school, have a more established career and are financially better off? Maybe, but I personally don't think that age needs to be a factor in when a "correct time" to get married is. Is there an age that is too old to get married? No. Everyone's "normal" is different. It's just more usual and common that people get married between the ages of 25-30.

6. You're still not mature enough. Maturity is subjective to the individual. Your degree of maturity is due to your life experiences and what you've learned from them. Some individuals may feel that the way you act and who you are, are an outward expression of your maturity, but just because you act a certain way or you do things are certain way does not necessarily reflect that. You are the best judge of yourself and whether or not you're ready to make certain life decisions.

7. You don't make enough money. If I didn't think I could handle the financial aspect of being married, I don't think I would be getting married, in all honesty. And to individuals who might not have a ton of money saved up, I don't think that should entirely stop you from making a commitment to each other. You work together, to figure out what works!

8. You don't have a career yet. Just because I don't have a career..means what? What if I never have a real career? Does that mean I should never get married? I personally don't think so. Having a career would probably mean that I've finished school and also am in a spot financially to get married. Refer to 1 + 7.

9. You need to just be young. Wait...did you not just say I'm not mature enough? What if I don't want to live in a phase of partying & drinking? I can be married and still be young. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I can't do things that other people my age do. Yes, I will have more responsibilities from being married but being married doesn't add numbers to my years. It just means I get to be young with someone awesome by my side!

10. You need to learn more about yourself. At what point can someone measure or judge when you've learned "enough" about yourself? Life is a continual process of learning! Certain life events need to occur to continue your further understanding of who you are! We are human. We evolve, change and become different everyday. We won't ever truly 100% learn all that we need to know about ourselves.

Yes, I've only lived for 2.1 decades. That's roughly 1/4 of the average life expectancy of a human. But, just because I've lived less life doesn't mean that I have experienced less life. Is there a checklist that says "Things that need to be completed to say you've experienced life"? Do I need to experience all of life before I get married? I personally don't think so. There are some things that are maybe better to experience on your own. Why? Maybe to develop your own personal character? To learn more about yourself? To build a person that you can call you, before giving it all to someone else? There are lots of reasons but I don't want to experience all of life before I get married. I want to be able to experience part of my life with the person I love. The person who is always going to be there to support me. The person who is always going to be there to care for me. The person who is always going to be there to love me. Life brings many kinds of experiences. Happy and Sad. Good and Bad. Trials and Triumphs. What do you do during the bad, sad, and ugly parts of life? The parts full of trials? You work through it together, build together and get through it together. What I want, is to be able to share my happy times, my good times, and my triumphant times with that individual that I love with all my soul and being. Why wouldn't you want to share that? Why would you want to limit your happiness just to yourself?

The process and experience in planning for a wedding has been an eye opener. There has been a lot of planning, DIYing, and so many other parts to it, but most importantly it's allowed me to realize that I can't wait to make a commitment to the person that I love. The person that I want to spend my life with, and not to mention all of time and eternity.

Now the next time someone asks me, "Why are you getting married? You're still so young." I'll remember to say "Because I know it's right."




Cheers,
XX

Friday, March 11, 2016

a year in anticipation | 2016

Happy New Year my loves! I know..I'm kinda late!

It's a new year, which also means a new start! After going through my 2015 New Year's Resolutions, I couldn't help but think to post about what I'm looking most forward to in 2016! It is without saying that 2015 was a year that I'll never forget. It was My Year! So many things happened in my life to help me get to the point I am at now! If you want to read about it, click here! 

Last year I... traveled, met people that inspired me and changed my life, laughed, made goals and met them, realized what it means to love yourself first and learned to not let anyone control your life but yourself!

I'll be honest with you, I don't really know what to expect this year! Some things that I'm going to be looking forward to and focusing on include:

1. Turning 21!!!
2. Travelling
3. Going to General Conference
4. Going camping
5. A Year full of love with the one that I love
6. School and the languages I'm learning (I know...who's excited about school!?..no clue, but I am!)
7. Laughing
8. More blogging and youtube videos
9. Starting a personal/life channel
10. Having a healthier lifestyle!

There are so many things that I can't wait to happen this year, and can't wait to share with you! It'll be an incredible year! (:

What is your year looking like?


Cheers,
XX

Friday, February 19, 2016

My New Year's Resolutions | 2016

With the past year being so incredible, I couldn't help but think of creating a 2016 resolution list! 2015's definitely stuck and I'm so glad to report back that I almost completed in all my resolutions. Woohoo! (Click Here to see last year's resolutions!) So, I thought...why not try it again!? Presenting...2016's version!

1. Blog at least once a week. I'm actually serious about it this time! I really want to pick up on my blog and make it more of a priority.

2. Save. Learning how to budget and watch my finances is super important to me and hopefully this year I can definitely get better at that!

3. Intercede Impulse. I know this might sound silly but sometimes I act out of impulse. I want to think before acting and think of the pros and cons before moving forward with any decisions that I make. 

4. Reflect. I feel like reflecting and taking account of what you may be pondering about is very important. It kind of helps you reset and rebalance so that you are able to better judge what you want or what your next step may be. 

5. Trust. Trust in what is now and remember that the past sometime does not have to do with what is happening now. 

6. Intent. I want to act out of intent. To watch what I'm doing or saying. Rather than just mindlessly living life, I want to live life with intention.

7. Grace. This is something I want to always be able to do. No matter what life throws at me, I want to be able to take it with grace and respond with grace.

8. Charity. This year, I want to be able to act in charity. To help others and to be more charitable because Charity Never Faileth.

9. Strive in School. School has always been important to me but I feel that I had never really developed good school habits. This year I really want to strive at becoming more serious about school and really working my hardest to succeed!

10. Healthy Heart. 2015 definitely helped me kick start the desire to be healthier in terms of exercising more often and eating better. This year I want to keep these habits more consistent and work at getting the body I've always wanted!

12. Language Love. My major and minor are both languages. French and Spanish. I definitely hope that I can put an emphasis on improving my knowledge in both of these and become fully fluent!

13. Get better at cooking. Expansion of my knowledge in food and cooking is something that is well in my realm of interest. Also, being a great cook is a wonderful skill to have!

14. Punctuality. I really want to make an effort to be more punctual, if not early, with all things that I'm doing. 

15. Time Management. Being able to properly plan for assignments, studying, or tasks is something I want to improve on this year. Being able to properly time manage will hopefully help reduce any unnecessary stress and keep me on top of things

16. Patience. Patience is a virtue. 

17. Drink more water. 8 cups a day!

18. Travel. Explore. Adventure. Learn of what this world has to offer.

19. Love. Trust. Love like there's no tomorrow. 

20. Be Happy. Do what makes me happy.



Have you made your list yet? If so, how are yours coming along? Let me know!


XX

Thursday, February 11, 2016

a year in review | 2015

Being nearly 2 months into 2016, and having the Christmas/New Year hustle & bustle over, I thought it was about time to really reflect on what the past year has done for me! Where do I even begin with what 2015 was and what it meant?!

I went back in time and took a look at my 2015 New Year's Resolutions (you can take a look at them HERE, if you'd like!) The first thing that popped up onto the screen, when I opened the post was: This will be my year. As soon as I saw this, a smile grew from ear to ear on my face. Looking back in hindsight at all that 2015 was, I could definitely and by far say that, it was the best year of my life. That's a big statement to make but I can definitely say that with pride!

2015 has helped me grow in so many ways that I didn't even think were imaginable. There were so many changes that really helped shape me into the person I am today! I know that sounds silly. How can someone seem completely transformed after a year? I couldn't possibly tell you..but...it happened and it happened to me. This year has been nothing but a blessing and I'm so fortunate to have had the year that I did. Despite this, 2015 was definitely not all rainbows and sunshine! My 2015 started off in a rut. Which sucked, but as unfavorable it was.. I think that this rut turned out to be a lesson. A valuable lesson. A lesson that changed my life for the better. 2015 taught me how to be independent. It taught me that I didn't have to depend on anyone else but me. This past year was really full of crazy changes, changes that included leaving a longterm relationship with someone that I had been with since high school. This was the best decision that I had ever made for myself. Leaving this relationship allowed me to realize the independence that I had in myself. In the 3.5 years that I was with this person and had lost myself, 2015 allowed me to find myself again. It allowed me to find the person I was. The person that I didn't get to develop in those crucial years between high school and the beginning stages of university. Leaving this relationship ultimately allowed me to really pursue my love to travel. It allowed me to travel to a place of old & refined love. This was Quebec City. This city, with its endless cobblestone, its tasteful architecture and its undying love language of french, had me wrapped around its finger. Oh, this city. I wouldn't trade the world for the knowledge I learned, the memories I made, and the life long friends that I met. Je me souviens.

With this firing passion to travel, in play, I had jetsetted to two different greek conferences over the summer. Both of which allowed me to learn so much about leadership and about myself. Of the two conferences I went to, AFLV LeaderShape really helped me realize the desire I had to want to succeed. It taught me to not be afraid of being ambitious and driven. AFLVs LeaderShape changed my life as much as leaving my past relationship did. I couldn't believe that a conference could teach me so much about leadership and how to take charge of my own life. A real shoutout goes to all those at AFLV for hosting LeaderShape! Cheers to the Lambda Class!

2015 really was the year of travel and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I got to go to places that I never dreamed of going to. During my time in Quebec, I took an 8 hour road trip all the way down to the Big Apple! New York was absolutely incredible and everything that I could've ever imagined. The city really never sleeps and traveling there solo really allowed me to feel the independent, working lifestyle that it exudes! LA and it's hot, relaxing and easy lifestyle reminded me of how much I loved the beach and the simplicity of just living life to it's fullest. The city is absolutely incredible if you really take the time to relax and take in it's beauty. Speaking of relaxing, and taking in beauty...San Diego was where I did much more of that. If you thought that LA had it all figured out..well you haven't seen the serene nature of San Diego with its nice lime bushes and it's beautiful running trails! And now, last but not least, Chicago - if my soulmate was a place, this would be it. Chicago has my heart in every which way possible. There is just something about it that pulls at my heart every time.

Travelling was a big part of my 2015, but so was school! I finally decided on the career path that I wanted to pursue. Now, I am really enjoying school, love the classes that I am taking and really feel the thrive to learn again. It's really crazy the difference of doing what you love can make. In addition to school, I also decided to take on a leadership role within my the National Panhellenic Council! You're looking at the 2016 Vice President External! I hope to do many things for my school in promoting Greek Life through the joys & fulfillment it can bring to student's University career. It will be great!

If I had a theme to label 2015, it would be growth. I feel that 2015 was a year of growth, not only did I leave a relationship, travel, and gain self-knowledge but I also took a big step in being more independent. I moved out! This was a big step that I think I needed to take for myself to fully bring out the potential I had to grow. After living in Quebec City, to study abroad, I realized what I could do and how I felt when I was living on my own. Being completely honest, I loved it so much. It gave me my own space, space which I didn't really have while living at home with my parents. Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my family with all my heart. I love them so much, but sometimes...distance makes the heart grow fonder. With moving out, I am able to see all that they do for me more. I am able to appreciate all the things that they do as parents to make sure that I succeed.

Just when I thought that 2015 was going to wind down. I was taken on a turn that I didn't expect. A good turn. A turn that showed me that love never faileth. ;)

Now with old ends, comes new beginnings. You know what they say right? Good things come to those who wait. 2015 was full of personal growth, travel, happiness & so much more; and I hope that 2016 isn't anything less than that. I hope that in this upcoming year, I am able to continue to refine who I am and what I want to be.

I really have to give a BIG THANKS to all those that made this past year incredibleMerci!



2015 meant the world to me and I wouldn't have had it any other way! Here's to hopes that 2016 is even better!

Cheers,
XX

Friday, February 5, 2016

What is a Sorority? | My Sorority Experience

Hello Darlings,

There is often never a time when I mention that I'm in a sorority that I don't get strange looks or questions. So - let me set the record straight and tell you what it's all about, my experience behind it and how it has changed my life for the better.

I'll be honest with you, I don't think I ever really knew what a sorority was before I encountered one. My first encounter with sororities was at my school's Welcome Back Club's Fair! I remember walking past the booth and was definitely in all favour in avoiding these girls. I didn't know much about sororities but what I  thought I knew about them wasn't anything good. This was about all that happened in my first year, it wasn't until my second year that I remember passing by the booth again! This time I saw two familiar faces, from my 1st year english class, at the booth! I stopped by to say "Hi!". After catching up and having them explain what a sorority is, I was totally sold on going through formal recruitment. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into but I was definitely ready!

The following week, formal recruitment had finally begun! Some people have asked me if it was all that I ever imagined, but since I didn't know what it was going to be like, I didn't know what to expect. No expectations = No disappointments! This was exactly how it was! Formal Recruitment was super fun and was definitely something to remember! To read my full recruitment experience, click HERE!


Since joining and fully initiating into a sorority, I can only tell you the joys and wonders that it has given me! Being part of a sorority has not only allowed me the opportunities to travel but also has allowed me the opportunities to meet such incredible people not only within my own city but also people from cities all across America! I really cannot describe the bonds that I have formed with all these individuals. Individuals of not just my own sorority but those of other sororities and fraternities as well. What's so strange is the odd connection that we all have upon meeting each other. There just seems to be an instant bond that we all acquire that binds us so well! Some of these friends that I've met, I can call more than just friends. In addition to these unimaginable travels that my sorority has allowed me to go on, something equally as significant to me that I have gained from joining a sorority is the drive to be a leading woman. The drive to strive in scholarship, charity and so many other things that are helping me grow into a well-rounded individual. I have not only been able to be an active collegiate member of my sorority but I have also been able to serve as the Jr. Panhellenic Vice President External + the Panhellenic Vice President External on my Universities National Panhellenic Council.


Being in a sorority has helped me see the leadership potential that I have. It has allowed me to see that I can reach for the stars and touch every single one of them if I wanted to. In this capacity, being in a sorority has also helped me recognize the importance of charity. After all, Charity never faileth. What I can do as an individual to help others, through charity, can make a world of a difference to them. I am so glad to be part of a network of organizations that allows me to grow as a student, friend, sister, and most importantly, and individual.

I really could not list the benefits that joining a sorority has given to me on a single blog post. Joining a sisterhood that spans from coast-to-coast has really given me so much faith that the values that I'm learning, the people I am meeting and the skills I am gaining, will be remembered as a great blessing and will make me look back on my college years reminiscing on how very grateful for all that I had experienced.

I hope that if you haven't given joining a sorority (or if you're a guy, a fraternity) yet, that you really should. It will bring new wonders into your life that you never could imagine having before!



Cheers,
XX

Monday, January 18, 2016

Mani Monday | New Years Cheers

Hello lovelies,

What better way to ring in the New Year than with New Nails? There is nothing more exciting than starting the new year with something bright, sparkly and gold! I hope my nails give you as much joy & inspiration as they do for me!





Cheers,
XX